Calculators and Gremlins

Budget cuts are affecting us at work these days. It's almost to the point where a person has to write an essay describing why they deserve a piece of equipment, no matter how small (even paper clips), to get some things that would make our jobs easier, or better yet, more efficient. Sometimes people think state workers have the best equipment. Lest you have THAT idea, let me burst your bubble and share my experience from the other day.

I went looking for a calculator so a co-worker could have one near her desk. I looked in all the crooks and crannies, high cupboards, low cupboards, closets and storage areas hoping to find a spare hiding somewhere.

I was pretty darned optimistic when I came across THREE calculators, yellowed with age and looking quite like they would qualify as antiques. My hopes were high. Now I wouldn't have to beg and/or write an essay to justify buying a new one.

I plugged in the first one. After installing a roll of tape, I started adding simple addition problems such as 5 + 5, then 25 + 30, then 106 + 243. ANYONE with a first grade education could solve these problems. What came out of the machine and onto the tape was a column of random numbers, letters and symbols down the side of the tape. Who knew a calculator has a question mark? Weird. I guess this one won't do.

My optimism was still optimistic. I plugged in the second calculator. I figured out how to put a roll of tape on this one. When I added a few random numbers, all I got was BLANK paper out of the machine. Nothing. Nothing at all. And, NO, it didn't need a new ribbon. I think these calculators were made before math was invented. Calculator number two is out of the question.

My optimism dwindled to pessimism pretty quickly. I plugged in the third calculator and managed to get the paper in the machine. I added a few quick numbers, and, lo and behold, it WORKED! And. . . it added correctly. Just when I turned to announce my great discovery, the machine started to add by itself. It added it's own numbers and printed the totals. As I watched in astonishment, the machine just kept on working and adding and totaling. It would stop for a minute or so and then start back up. It kept up until I was able to prove to everyone in the office it was true. One of my co-workers commented, "It's just happy to be plugged in!"

I think there's a gremlin in our office messing with MY MIND! I decided we'll forget about having a calculator and just use an old fashioned piece of paper and pencil.