A Beard Story

Grandpa J and I are having a small tiff. Not a big one, ‘cause I'm not saying much. I figure the best way to win this is to let him see why he SHOULDN'T have a beard!

I think this notion cropped up a couple of weeks ago, when we looked at some old pictures and there was one of Grandpa J (although he was not a grandpa at that time) with a beard. It's really hard to see in the picture, but when his daughter exclaimed, "Look, Dad, you have a beard in that picture!" I think the idea began to germinate like seeds in the springtime. You see, no one paid much attention to his 80's look because we were looking at how goofy the rest of us looked in that picture; namely, the aforementioned daughter in her "lovely" outfit.

I think that's what started the "OLD" cogs moving. I noticed one night after he came home from a meeting that he had a bit of a "white glow" around his cheeks and jaw bone. I casually mentioned, "Oh, looks like you forgot to shave today."

A couple of days later when the glow was becoming to the point where I needed sunglasses, I said, "Are you GROWING a BEARD?" Who needs a Santa Claus at Easter? A very quiet timid voice answered, "Yeh." I asked him, "Why?" His reply, again very quietly, "I don't know. . .see if I can." I think he thought he was going to be in big trouble. Okay, the best way to combat this thing is to let him just go through this phase.

Yesterday, I secretly noticed him scratching at it. I asked what was going on? He confided that it was itching him to death. Ah-ha! I'm beginning to creep ahead to the winning line. A few hours later he made a comment, "Gee, this thing makes me look older than heck!" Of course, it makes you look older than heck, it's pure white! I'm pulling out way ahead now. At church, one of the neighbors ("Bless the out-spoken, for I shall never regret, for once, that she opened her mouth!") told Grandpa J that she bet Grandma J didn't like that new look. How right she is, but I didn't say anything. . .I can see the finish line up ahead!

I convinced Grandpa J to take a picture with me so I could secretly show the world what the beard looks like. I thought the peer pressure would work better than me nagging at him. I told a little white lie (it matches his beard). . . I wanted to blog something about the two of us and show the world how much we love each other. That part is not the little white lie. Well, this picture does not tell a thousand words. . . YOU CAN'T SEE HIS BEARD OR THE WHITE GLOW IN THE PICTURE! I've failed in my quest! And, what you can see is that I am smiling because his beard is "poinking" me in the lips!

Happy Birthday Dad Today!

I prepared this little tribute for you last night and saved it to publish today. But do to my lack of knowledge of all this new fangled techno stuff, it shows yesterday's date. I really do know your birthday is today! Have a great day!

Happy Birthday to My Dad!

Happy birthday Dad! I wish I could be there to help you eat your birthday cake and sing to you, although that might not be so good since I still have a bit of a croak to my voice. Just want to send you some long distance hugs--some big, some little. You know the kind. Thanks for being the best Dad in the whole wide world. No daughter could have ever been luckier than to have someone like you for a dad while growing up. So here's hoping for the best day ever with greetings from Texas, Utah and Nevada. We all love you and send you lots of those hugs.

A Sure Way to Eventually Get Your Floor Mopped

1. First thing in the morning, when you are in a hurry. . .stand at the fridge and attempt to load a can of warm Diet Pepsi so that it will be cool at lunch time.

2. Promptly drop from shoulder-height the last Diet Pepsi you are loading.

3. Notice how the Diet Pepsi sprays all over the the entire floor including under the fridge, under the pantry door and across the room to the other side of the bar. Notice the added benefit of coverage on the cupboards and fridge door, inside and out.

4. Because you are in a hurry, be sure to use Bounty paper towels ("the quicker-picker-up" towels) and spread liberally all over the entire floor. Be sure to remember to shove some under the fridge and under the pantry door. Quickly make some swipes on the cupboards and in the fridge.

5. Leave the residue to dry because you are in a hurry. When you finally arrive home at 6 p.m. because you didn't get a lunch and you are so tired from putting out fires all day, notice how dang sticky the floor is!!!

6. At this point, you have two choices: (1) Drag out the mop and bucket and clean it up; or (2) say, "What the heck, it can wait til Saturday or, better yet, maybe a couple of weeks." If you choose option (2) walk around on the floor very carefully. By this time, the floor is so sticky your shoes will permanently bond (better than Gorilla Glue) to the floor and you will trip on your face.

7. Want my advice? Buy a cold Diet Pepsi out of the machine!

Rainy Days and Mondays Get Me Down

No blogging for today. Mondays are the worst day of the week for me. I spent the whole day putting out fires that kept spontaneously re-igniting.

You know those guys that dance on the street corner with their I-pod in their ears holding a big sign trying to get you to buy a house down the road or a hot-baked pizza? Well, today I accused a co-worker of doing that doing her lunch hour. The place was a mad house and to any outsider it appeared we had a sale going on for discounted traffic tickets. I think she was out on the corner of Main Street dancing her little jig convincing people to come in for some good deal. Nearly everyone who came in was pretty upset we didn't give any discounts.

Finally It's Spring in Utah!

It's about time spring has arrived! There are no leaves on the trees, no flowers blooming except a few daffodils here and there. How do I know spring has arrived? There are plenty of "Utah Cone Flowers" popping up their lovely orange heads everywhere. These beautiful orange cone flowers are "blooming" down the middle and edges of more and more roads. I have dubbed these Utah's new state flower. Everywhere you turn, there is road construction and orange cones! My usual drive from home to work is three miles, but now after a dozen or so road-blocked signs, detour signs, men-working signs, road-work-ahead signs, barriers, orange barrels and cones, I zig and zag an additional four miles! I swear, every road I take has some sort of road construction. Aargh! Oh yes, spring is soooo much my favorite time of the year!

Back to the 80s

This past weekend we went to California to visit Grandpa J's mother who is very ill. Seeing her reminded me how precious and short life really is. I reflected on some of the fun memories our family has had with Grandpa J's mother and, in the process, it made me think of fond memories we have with our own four children. I went digging through some old photos from the 80s at my mother's and found myself laughing a little and crying a little. I want to give my dad a special thanks for adding the special effects. I'm so glad my family is forever!